Not Really Ninja
by Sketchdex
Summary: The ninja aren't technically ninja. Also minor character deaths.


**Okay, before you call me out on this: let me just say something.**

**The ninja ARE technically "out of date," even though they got the technoblades.**

**On the official website, nindroids are "faster, stronger, and more agile" than Zane has ever been. Then, theoretically, shouldn't they be better than the ninja?**

**Also, the techno blades, despite looking awesome, would not actually work. I honestly don't care if they're magical. (Also, they are probably not, since they are developed by Cyrus)**

**Also, the blades are obviously gigantic saws. The saws would literally cut the droids in half, rendering them useless for hacking.**

**Also, they are big weapons. I'll be honest. I don't approve of how the "ninja" are in the show.**

**Theoretically, no matter how strong you are, a heavy weapon like that would require even little effort, making them more fit for an oni to wield than the likes of a ninja, magical or not. **

**Finally, I'll explain my dislike of the 'ninja' in the show. They are supposed to be ninja, but the 'proper' term for ninja is **_**shinobi,**_** which is an imperial Japan word for an espionage agent, used mainly for assassin, and (you guessed it) espionage.**

**Now. Tell me the FEW (if not nonexistent) times that the 'ninja' have actually performed a stealth kill or proper data gathering.**

**What I'm saying here is THIS. They are NOT ninja. They don't even LOOK like ninja.**

**Basically, they are ALL samurai. **

**I mean, here's a list why:**

**They wear specialized, heavy armor (like the shoulder pads, Jay's previous arm plating)**

**They fight in open combat, and reveal themselves immediately. They just charge into combat, like when Kai charged into Ouroborous and said "THIS ENDS NOW," announcing their presence to the snake menace.**

**They use heavy weaponry or weaponry not used by shinobi/ninja. For example: Cole's scythe. Whoever had the GREAT IDEA to give Cole a SCYTHE was kind of stupid, because seriously. Just seriously. Kai makes sense, Jay makes sense, but Cole AND Zane DO NOT.**

**Zane uses shuriken as his only weapon. In real life, shuriken are an emergency weapon that were used for assassination. Also, they are not massive, like, FRISBEES that you can use like a sword. Look at an actual shuriken. They are barely as big as half of a foot in diameter.**

**They do almost no spying, save a few exceptions. Most of the time, their technique is "reveal yourself immediately."**

**Remember that massive battle in ep. 26 between the ninja and stone warriors? OH HECK YEAH THAT'S CALLED NINJA STEALTH**

**Now, without further ado, let me present a random idea. Might be a little short. Also I killed people again.**

**Also I will do a "friendly mocking" of their understanding of ninja. Please don't send actual ninja after me.**

Sensei had told us the Nindroids were holding vital material in their data banks that we need to take.

As we crept up on the guard nindroid in front of their makeshift cave base, Cole decided that the droid wasn't holding the data and we tried to hack him with our technoblades, hoping that we could have an extra ally.

However, the droid's head flew off with a flourish, and Zane noticed right after that the droid, was, in fact, holding the data, and was actually programmed to say the data, which we could've listened to.

We took a peek inside the cave, and saw a massive army of nindroids. Kai brandished his technoblade and immediately charged in, shrieking all the way as a battle cry.

The nindroids almost immediately took notice of us, and met Kai squarely in his charge.

All of a sudden, the fire ninja realized just how heavy the technoblade was, and as he looked up a massive blast of plasma blew a hole in his chest, and he fell to the ground, dead.

Cole began to use his specialized scythe-styled technoblade, but realized it was heavier than he thought, and actually had to strain a little to swing it.

He managed a small hit, but the nindroid blocked in and with its reflexes jabbed a knife in his stomach.

He dropped to the ground like a stone, and Zane and I ran forwards. I started to clash with another nindroid, surprised at their sudden agility.

I looked over at Zane, who was just realizing his shuriken were smaller than he thought.

A nindroid swung an energized sword at his artificial heart, and Zane tried to desperately deflect it with his shuriken.

Unfortunately, the shuriken was too small and the sword made a large dent in it.

Stunned, the ninja of ice stepped back, and that was enough time for the nindroid to stab his sword forward. I heard a loud blast of metal as his frame shorted out.

Being the last one left, I continued fighting, but after Kai had revealed us, the entirety of the army had consumed us.

I tried to do a whirlwind kick, but a nindroid came up behind and stabbed me in the leg. While I was dealing with the pain, I tried to flip out of the commotion, to no avail. All of the nindroids around me jumped up with me, and stabbed me in the face in midair.

**That's PROBABLY how a REAL battle would go. Now, let's see how it'd go if they were actually ninja.**

Sensei had given us a mission – to collect vital data from the nindroid base camp, hidden in a cave.

The four of us crept up on the nindroid guarding the base in different directions, to confuse him just in case he saw us.

I saw Kai creep up behind the droid, and quickly stab a folding blade into the droid's neck, destabilizing his quantum identity pattern.

The nindroid fell to the ground, and Zane collected the data from the droid's data bases.

After we got the data, Cole decided there might be more, so we got into tactical positions in the base, staying hidden from the army of nindroids.

We overheard a little, about how they were going to kill Sensei.

As our job was done, we headed home to see Sensei dead. That created a typical "revenge rage" in our hearts, and we went off to kill Cyrus Borg, because he was the one who made the nindroids in the first place.

The revenge rage had made us not realize that Cyrus was our friend. Instead of charging in and assaulting the Borg Tower, we took up tactical positions and flew spiderman style through the window.

As we crashed through the window, Kai leapt through the air farther than the rest of us did, and stabbed his katana into Cyrus' face.

Hearing the alarm being raised due to Cyrus' alarm device on him, we leapt out of the window, falling down two hundred floors down the tower, and landed stealthily in a pool of water.

We managed to stealth our way back to the Bounty, where we lost our rage, and realized we killed Cyrus.

Then we became the new evil overlords of the world and took control.

The end.

**Okay, yes, I admit I got carried away with the second one, but it also demonstrates how actual espionage and assassination would work.**

**If you actually want to know what it would be like, you could play "Mark of the Ninja," a little 'platformer' type game, "Dishonored," the famous game that features Corvo Attano, or "Thief," the latest game.**

**So in conclusion, the "first" story is a realistic version, but the ninja still have their current equipment.**

**The second one is a realistic one with more realistic equipment. In that story, all of the ninja have katana and shuriken.**

**Sure, it might insult the natural way of Ninjago, but sometimes Ninjago insults the actual way of the shinobi by mocking them as samurai.**

**Samurai and ninja were massive enemies back in medieval Japan, so I don't WHAT they were thinking, but that's fine.**

**If you noticed that there were no dialogues or emotions, I did that on purpose, so it wouldn't take your attention away from the actual idea.**

**Why there was so many deaths? Because it would probably actually happen in the first story. The second story was because I got carried away and made the ninja kill Cyrus.**

**Anyway, if you haven't read anything so far, the idea is that the ninja are simply NOT NINJA.**

**Anyway, thanks for reading!**

**Read and review, and try to share your own opinion!**

**I'm very pessimistic :**


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